There's a Mouse in My House
by ilovetvalot
Summary: What happens when Jennifer Jareau gets an unexpected visitor?


"Look, PLEASE, you have to get to me today," JJ begged into the phone.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, it's a two week wait…It's that time of the year," the voice at the other end of the line said to her.

Defeated, JJ hung her head. "Then please add my name to the list and call me immediately if there are any cancellations," she said sweetly.

"Will do, ma'am! Goodbye," the irritating voice said.

Staring at the telephone receiver in her hand with unholy rage, JJ slammed it back into it's cradle. Then, she did it again three more times in quick succession, punctuating each crash with, "Damn! Damn! Damn!"

"Problems, Gum Drop?" Penelope questioned from her vantage point atop Morgan's desk.

JJ looked to see a small crowd gathered watching her momentary mental break with reality. Rossi, Reid, Morgan, Prentiss, and Garcia were all gathered to watch her slowly lose her mind trying to find an available exterminator to rid her home of the unwelcome occupant that had invaded her sanctuary.

"In a city the size of D.C., how is it possible that not one, NOT ONE," she said, holding up a finger, "exterminator can get to my home before two weeks!"

"Did you call Bill? He's my guy! He'll work you in," Morgan told her easily.

"Your GUY, said it would be two and a HALF weeks! Oh, he's a hell of a guy, Derek!" JJ said angrily.

"My bad," Morgan murmured.

"What's going on?" asked Rossi, trying not to laugh.

"There's a mouse in my house!" JJ said as though it were the worst catastrophe ever to befall her years. "A nasty, vile, unsanitary MOUSE!" she moaned.

"Have you set a trap?" asked Rossi. As soon as he asked the question, he could swear he saw the smoke coming from her ears. Quickly seeing the ill-advised nature of his question, he muttered, "Okay, stupid question."

"Of course I've set traps…three different kinds of traps in fact! The little bastard is smart! He eats around the trap…and don't ask me how, but somehow, he managed to get the cheese of the MIDDLE of the glue board…he's a friggin' ninja mouse!" JJ yelled.

The group couldn't help but giggle and smirk at the pretty, blonde normally poised and unflappable media liaison.

"Come on, JJ, you can make it two weeks with a houseguest," Emily tried to console.

"Have you lost your ever lovin' mind, Em! I am not staying in that house with a mouse!" JJ shouted.

"Jayje, I don't think you have much choice," Em stated, fighting a smile.

"NO, I'm a smart educated woman…I can get rid of this rodent!" JJ insisted.

"Angelfish, you tried to shoot it last night and you missed," Penelope reminded her.

"WHAT?!" Rossi said, eyes widening.

"I do not DO mice, damn it!" JJ shouted at his amazed face.

"So you tried to shoot it," Rossi said in horror.

"Well, it was standing there looking at me. I swear to God, he was daring me!" JJ defended herself.

"So you shot him?" Reid asked.

"No, I shot AT him! I missed the little bugger," JJ said impatiently. "Look, I can NOT live with a mouse!"

"You do realize that there is never just one mouse, right? They live in colonies. Chances are, there's a whole nest," Reid surmised.

As Rossi watched the color leave JJ's face and saw her face tighten with rage, he realized that unless he acted fast, Dr. Spencer Reid's time on earth was limited to the next few seconds. Psychotic unsubs had nothing on a pissed off Jennifer Jareau. As she took a step forward with blood in her eyes, Rossi grabbed her around the waist just as she was reaching for young Spencer's scrawny neck.

"You don't want to kill him," Rossi said against her ear.

"Yes, I do," she argued.

"No, you want to kill the mouse," Rossi said patiently, not releasing his hold on her.

"And Reid," JJ said, glaring at Reid, as he took a nervous swallow and inched behind Morgan.

"He doesn't know any better. He thought he was helping," Rossi said as Penelope, too, moved to shield Reid from JJ's irate eyes.

"He's right, Angel, he didn't mean anything," Penelope said, fighting a laugh.

"He wasn't helping me," JJ said in a deathly calm voice.

"He knows that now, Jayje," Emily said, watching her friend try to break Rossi's hold.

"Don't you know that, Spencer?" Morgan said, eyes on JJ.

"I do and I won't speak of mice again," Reid said in a small voice from behind Morgan's bulk.

"Mouse! Singular!" JJ shouted.

"Sorry!" said Spencer quickly.

"Okay, fine, I won't kill him. Reid, that is. You can let me go now, Dave," JJ said, relaxing against him.

"You sure?" asked Rossi, not really wanting to let her go.

"Yeah, I'm sure," JJ agreed, taking a deep breath.

David slowly released his hold on the vibrant blonde in his arms.

"I want that mouse out of my house! Tonight!" JJ stressed. "Either one of you comes over and helps or I start shooting at the little rodent again! Do any of you want to be responsible for that!"

"JJ, babe, I finally got Jordan to agree to go out with me tonight," said Morgan.

"I've got dinner with the ambassador," Emily said, referring to her mother.

"Kevin's taking me to meet his folks," Penelope said regretfully.

"I'm scared of you," Reid said in a shaky voice.

"And, you, what's your excuse?" asked a frustrated JJ, looking at Dave.

Shaking his head at the fuming lady in front of him, Dave smiled. "I'll be there!"

"Thank God! Two bullet holes in my wall is enough," JJ mumbled.

"Two!" exclaimed Rossi.

"Well, he was running and I was chasing," JJ said, as if that explained it all.

~*~

David Rossi rang the bell of Jennifer Jareau's not so happy home at six o'clock at night. Sixty minutes after he'd left her at the BAU offices. He thought he'd made good time, traveling to Little Creek, picking up his supplies and a change of clothes and traveling back to her home. He listened as he heard her footsteps scurry for the door and grinned. Jennifer Jareau had intrigued and delighted him from the moment he'd met her and now he was being afforded the opportunity to glimpse inside the woman's safety zone. He might just kiss the mouse when he found him.

As Jennifer pulled the door to her home open, Rossi felt his upper arm surrounded in a surprisingly strong grip for such a tiny woman and was hauled unceremoniously inside. As she bodily shoved his mass in front of her, he felt her press her body to his back. "Where have you BEEN!?" he heard her squeal against his ear.

"It's only been an hour, JJ," Rossi said evenly, enjoying the feel of her curves pressed to his back.

"He's still here!" she whispered against the back of his neck.

"Did you expect him to pack a suitcase and vacate the premises while you were at work?" Rossi whispered back.

"I girl could hope," JJ groaned, resting her head against his back for a moment. "Find it, David! Please!" she begged.

"Honey, it's gonna take a little more than me walking through the door," he explained patiently.

"Fine, just do whatever it is you do to get rid of them!" she said, still clutching the back of his shirt.

"Okay, but you are aware you're going to need to let me go at some point to accomplish that task," he told her conversationally. "I mean it's nice having a nice young body pressed against me, but…Ooomph!" he said as she reached around to smack him in the stomach. "What was that for?" he asked.

"You can flirt with me AFTER you find the damn mouse!" JJ said sweetly.

"All right, I may take you up on that. But seriously, you have to let me go if you want me to catch this sucker, JJ," Rossi said, stifling a laugh.

"Fine," she said, following on his heels to the kitchen.

Setting his bag down on the table, Rossi unzipped his bag of goodies. Pulling out three cardboard paper towel tubes, he looked at JJ. "Okay, I need scissors and some cheese," Rossi ordered.

JJ stared at him as if he'd suddenly grown antlers. "That's what you brought to catch the ninja mouse? Three paper towel tubes? Where's the poison, the bullets, the freaking A bomb?!" she asked incredulously.

"Just trust me. Get the scissors and the cheese, JJ. I know what I'm doing," he assured her confidently.

"You had soooo better…else you're going to have an extended houseguest at Little Creek, Rossi!" JJ mumbled under her breath.

Privately thinking maybe he should make sure his traps failed, Rossi grinned as she pulled scissors out of a kitchen drawer. While he slit the tubes, she placed a block of cheese in front of him. Finally putting a piece of cheese at the end of each cylander, he said, "Okay, now I need three tall trash cans."

JJ pointed to the one in the corner of the kitchen and disappeared toward the back of the house to find two more, Rossi assumed.

Returning a minute later with the requested cans, JJ watched as Rossi balanced the tubes along her kitchen counters, treat side over each of the cans.

"Now, when the mouse travels down the tube to get to the cheese, his weight causes the whole contraption to fall in the can. Thus, no more mouse," Rossi explained.

"And, then you kill him," JJ said, giving him the eye.

"If you insist," Rossi said, chuckling.

"I insist," JJ stated emphatically.

"I figured you would," Rossi mumbled.

"What do we do until then?" JJ asked.

"I definitely have some ideas about that," Rossi said, raising an eyebrow at her and leering.

"Pervert!" JJ smiled and accused.

"Would you really want me any other way?" Rossi asked.

"I wouldn't KNOW you any other way," she laughed.

"I came prepared," Rossi said, pulling a movie he'd remembered her saying she wanted to see out of his bag of tricks.

Smiling, she took the movie from his hand. "I'll call for pizza," she replied.

~*~

Five hours later, curled up against David on the couch with her head on his shoulder watching their second movie of the evening, they both heard the unmistaken sound of something falling in the kitchen.

"Was that what I hope it was?" JJ asked, looking up into his dark eyes.

"There's one way to find out," David grinned, pushing off the couch.

As Jennifer cowered in the doorway, David walked over to the rattling trash can. Looking up to her hopeful face, he smiled. "We got him!" David told her with a satisfied look.

"Oh, thank God! Get him out! He's evicted!" JJ shouted, pointing to the door.

Picking the can up, David returned minutes later. "He's gone to that great mouse trap in the sky, JJ."

Hurling her small frame at him, David sighed as he felt her wrap her arms around his neck and say against his neck, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Returning her embrace, he said, "Does this earn me a real date, now?"

Drawing back to smile at him, JJ murmured, "I think that can definitely be arranged."


End file.
